Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Callista Besek won Newt Fair and Square

The fat-wives clubs of America, and the self-satisfied intact-family crowd, are going around saying Newt should have kept his pants zipped. Newt did exactly what he had every right to do. He shopped the market for the best. And he kept shopping.

Newt was married to Mariane Ginther (who was a big improvement over Newt's first wife, Jackie Battlie, who was a big loser and got cancer). It was no trick at all for Mariane to out-compete Jackie. But then Mariane got sloppy. By the time she was in her 50s she started to look decidedly middle age.

Mariane knew full well that Newt was a wanderer. After all, that's how she became Number Two. But did she take action? Did she get herself into Trophy Wife shape? Surgery? No. She left the door wide open. Newt moved up.

Liberals like to think of marriage as something special. Conservatives understand that marriage is just like the free market for clothes or cars or anything else. Markets are good. Competition keeps everyone on his toes. Yes, men, too.

For Newt to connect with a woman in her 30s like Callista in 1993, Newt needed to be at the top of HIS game. Newt was soon to be Speaker of the House, and Newt later roiling the nation by leading the charge against Bill Clinton for sexual contact with Monica Lewinski. Newt was on the news nightly decrying bad sexual morals on Clinton's behalf. What a turn-on that must have been for Callista. And Callista was young, toned, blonde.

What sexual tricks did she employ? We don't know. All we know is what she testified to: that the affair began back in 1993. But whatever it was, it worked. Or something did.

Newt was a trophy for her; Callista was a trophy for Newt. Winners, both of them. And winners choose winners.

If you don't like real competition, move to Cuba. Newt deserved the best Third Wife he could get. Callista won. Fair and Square.


  1. Marvelous! I have taken the liberty of citing a link to this article in many, many forums. I hope you write more. This one left me wanting for more, and you have been lazy to my utter disappointment :-)

  2. Well, it looks like our wonderful Newt Gingrich is going to run!! He has almost announced!

    His candidacy will prove that serial adultery is NOT an impediment to election. Because we actually admire Newt and most Family Values Republicans are happy to endorse Newt.

  3. And you have inspired a world wide phenomenon:


    Any truth to the rumors that Newt will be shopping religions once again? Islam or Mormonism perhaps?